Talking to your aging parents about long-term care can be tough. Most seniors shun the idea of talking about their future plans especially their finances. In fact, around 45% of adult children have talked to their aging parents about their plans when they can no longer take care of themselves. And only 30% have discussed how their aging parents will pay for care expenses.
But no matter how hard it is to start the conversation, you have to do it. The sooner you do it the better. If not, you might end up carrying the burden of their financial woes and long-term care needs.
So, how do you start the conversation about long-term care?
Before you begin the discussion about their care needs, create a checklist that can serve as your guide as you go through the conversation. List down issues that might arise as they get older like physical changes that would make it hard for them to carry out some of their daily tasks, if they consider moving to a facility and how do they plan to pay for it or if they have a living will.
Keep in mind that the long-term care conversation isn’t done overnight. It might take a while depending on how receptive your aging parents are and how helpful you are in sharing your inputs on how they can live the way they prefer in the future.
We’ve done some of the liftings for you and created a list of ways on how you can discuss long-term care with your aging parents.
Identify a Goal
It’s imperative to identify a short-term goal before you begin the conversation. Find out exactly what you want to accomplish when you start talking to your parents. Also, don’t keep your expectations too high. Remember, long-term care planning can’t be done in just one sitting.
This can be just one of the many conversations you will have with your parents so it’s recommended to keep it short and meaningful first.
Avoid Ganging Up on Your Parents
The conversation alone is already intimidating and might become too much for your parents to handle when you and your siblings seem like ganging up on them. Avoid making the situation worse by appointing one or two adult children to bring up the subject of the conversation.
Some families begin the discussion in a more formal setting like a family meeting while others are more comfortable in a casual setting. Talk to your siblings first to determine the kind of setting that would work for you and your parents.
Let them Know that they are In Control
It’s very important to let them know that they are in control of their situation and their opinion matters when it’s time to make a decision. It’s their future so let their voice be heard and you’re just there to guide them when they plan for long-term care.
You can ask questions like where do they plan to grow old or are they open in moving to a facility. Most aging parents would choose to age in place. It’s not a surprise since 77% of seniors prefer to receive care in their own home.
Unfortunately, home care is not a realistic option for most aging parents because of safety issues such as falls, they need a higher form of care and difficult to maintain. However, only 43% of families have talked about aging parents moving out of their homes.
Yes, they are in control but make sure to do your part too in giving them all the information they need to make a well-informed decision.
Discuss the Cost of Care and How They Plan to Pay for It
Broaching this subject early rather than at a later time is recommended since it increases their chance of qualifying for long-term care insurance and having affordable premiums.
Health insurance and Medicare doesn’t pay for long-term care while Medicaid only provides limited coverage, so it’s not wise to rely on any of these considering the rising cost of care nowadays. Long-term care insurance helps pay for different types of long-term care services and facilities not covered by other payment options.
The annual median cost of a private room in a nursing home is around $100,379. Home care, on the other hand, ranges from $49,000 to $50,000 annually depending on the services.
The longer you delay talking about your parents’ long-term care plan, the higher the chance that they’ll end up living with you or asking help to pay for their care needs.
Use Someone Else’s Experience as an Example
There are some seniors that are hard to convince that long-term care planning is essential nowadays. If that’s the case, use experiences of a friend or families who struggled with long-term care. Use these experiences as cautionary tales that can give your aging parents perspective and help them plan for their care needs.
Use References
Using reference materials such as articles, news clippings, and statistics about long-term care can help you start the conversation with your aging parents. This is a perfect strategy if you find it tough to begin the discussion about their care needs.
Write to Them
If talking to your aging parents isn’t working, another way to send your message across is by sending an email or letter to them. This is perfect if you live miles away from your parents and can serve as a foundation for your next conversation.
Conclusion
Discussing long-term care with aging parents is tough but delaying it will just cause you and your parents more problems. No matter how hard it is, you need to start the conversation early to make sure that your aging parents are ready for their future long-term care needs.
Association for Long Term Care Planning can help you plan for long-term care by giving you unbiased advice so you can find the right policy for your care needs. Protect yourself today by requesting for quotes at no cost now.
